I cut my penus on the lid.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
