Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
We got so high we made milksteak
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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