happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
