We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
My vagina is officially offended.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
