THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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