Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
