so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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