we're blogging at a bar
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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