mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
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