Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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