Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
