____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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