Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
