Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
