What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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