I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
