I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
