I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
