Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
where am i from again
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
