if only i could text you this smell
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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