Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
