No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
