I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
