this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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