It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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