cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
