I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
