i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
