They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
