have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
