I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
