Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
