Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
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