Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
