yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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