he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
