trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
