Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
