i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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