i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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