some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
