If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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