with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Best friends brother. Beat that.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
