I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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