i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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