So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
