He kissed a someone with a penis
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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