sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
