it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
