i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
