I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
